First Date Nerves
Feeling nervous on a first date is extremely common, and you shouldn’t feel self-conscious about experiencing them. Instead, check out the list we’ve curated below, and learn how to overcome any first-date nerves you may be experiencing.
Why Do We Have First Date Nerves?
On a first date, it’s normal to be nervous. Especially if you’ve never met this person and only interacted with them through a dating app. Here are some of the most common reasons you may be experiencing first-date anxiety nerves.
- You’ve never met him in person.
- You’re not confident, or you lack self-esteem.
- You’re worried you may have been catfished.
- You don’t know if they’re coming with a friend.
- You’re worried about embarrassing yourself.
How to Get Over First Date Nerves
Below, you’ll find a list of the best tips we could think of to get over first-date anxiety and nerves. You’ll be feeling confident and ready to go on that date in no time.
1. Do a video call beforehand.
If you’ve never seen this person, not just in person, literally never, seeing them through a video call could help calm any nerves you may be feeling. You’ll be able to process your first impression of them privately by seeing them face to face virtually and hearing them talk before the date.
Especially if you’ve only texted because you met online or through a dating site, getting a little more than just the photos they have posted can really help calm your nerves. If the date is far enough in advance, you can even try having multiple video calls leading up to the date, so you really get a chance to get to know them and not be so surprised.
Often, the more we know about someone, and the more we’ve gotten to interact with them, the more comfortable and less nervous we feel around them.
2. Try to plan the date beforehand.
Have the date plan ready and share it with her. To get rid of those nerves that can come along with the thoughts of what we are going to do or where we will go, have it all planned out beforehand. If you plan what you’re going to do, you can even share it with her and see how she feels about it and if you’re on the same page.
If you want the date to be a surprise, make sure you have information about what she likes and doesn’t like and what activities she enjoys. You wouldn’t want to be planning a surprise and take her to a restaurant serving food she doesn’t like or take her to do something she hates.
3. Prepare yourself.
Try to go to the gym before the date to feel good about yourself. Then take a shower and pick your favorite outfit to look as put together as you could be for the date. Although it may seem like working out can make you tired, it can also give you energy and motivation, two things that are ideal for a first date.
4. Be ready to spend if needed.
You should never assume that they’re going to pay, even if it would be the polite thing to do if they’re the one who asked you on the date. In case your date isn’t inviting you, or he gives you the feeling that he wants you to split the bill, don’t let him say it and go ahead and offer to split the bill.
It’s not an obligation for him to pay, and it’ll come off as a really nice gesture if you offer to at least split the bill with him. You’ll also give him a great first impression, and it’ll make him feel like you’re interested in him and not just interested in getting a free dinner out of this or using him in any way.
Another good tip to remember is to avoid accepting a first date somewhere you wouldn’t be able to pay for yourself, even if it’s his treat, just to avoid giving off the wrong impression.
5. Pick a day your date doesn’t have anything to do afterward.
You don’t want to have a first date and feel like your time with that person is rushed. Even if they’re not rushing you and they just happen to mention that they have somewhere to be after the date, it could make you feel rushed.
If you feel rushed, you’re not going to enjoy the date as much as you could have, and you’re going to be constantly thinking about how much time you have left with this person, and you might even feel pressured to make a connection with them quickly so that you can have a second date with them. All in all, it just ends up being uncomfortable, and it’s best if it can be avoided.
6. Don’t talk about it with too many people.
The fewer people know, the less you’ll get asked about it. Not that it’s necessarily a secret that you’re going on a date, but when people ask you about it, it could make you more nervous, and they might even put worries into your head that weren’t there before.
Plus, if the date isn’t what you hoped it would be or doesn’t work out for a second date, you’ll have to talk about that too. It’s better to keep it to yourself and reveal more details after you’ve gone on the date.
7. Don’t overthink.
Even though you’re nervous, you need to do your best to avoid overthinking every little thing about the date and what’s about to happen. This will only cause you to spiral and become more anxious and nervous.
It’s normal to feel a little bit nervous before a first date, but you don’t want to feel nervous to the point that you’re not able to enjoy the date, so try not to overthink and keep your mind off any thoughts regarding the date.
8. Plan a date that allows you to lean on the activity.
For example, if you know that you always get really nervous on first dates, have a hard time talking, and maybe tend to embarrass yourself, pick an activity that doesn’t require too much talking.
Perhaps, it’s better to go to the movies where you can enjoy each other’s company and not feel forced to carry on a long conversation or have to seem interesting.
9. Remember they could be feeling the same way.
You are not the only person that can feel nervous, and chances are that your date is also feeling nervous. It helps calm your nerves once you realize that they probably feel a little nervous too and that you’re not alone in feeling that way.
10. Make sure you’re not tired.
If you’re tired, you might be more anxious or more impatient, and those feelings can trigger nervousness. So when you’re planning the date, choose a day when you know you don’t have a lot going on before the date so you can ensure you’re in a good, happy mood when it’s time for the date.
11. Remember feeling nervous is normal.
Everyone feels nervous about something at some point. In this case, it’s nerves due to a date. It’s probably not the first or last time you’ll feel nervous about going on a date, so try to remember past dates and how they turned out. They probably went alright despite the nerves you were feeling.
12. Don’t put yourself in a stressful situation before the date.
Sometimes if you’re in a stressful situation right before the date, you can carry on that negative energy you were feeling, and it will likely be noticed during the first date. If you know you will be dealing with some stressful situation right before the date, such as a hard day at work, or something like that, try to plan the date for at least a couple of hours after the stressful situation is over.
Doing this gives you time to cool off and get over whatever puts you in a bad mood, so you have the best attitude throughout your date.
13. Keep yourself busy throughout the day.
Try to keep yourself busy, preferably with something you enjoy doing, until it’s time for the date. The more downtime you have, the more time you can spend thinking about what could happen on the date, and provoke the feeling of nervousness more and more.
14. Don’t think of them as a potential partner, think of them as your friend.
Of course, you probably have a huge crush on them, which is why you’re nervous in the first place, and you probably hope that a relationship can flourish between the two of you eventually. However, thinking of them as a really good friend going into the date will make it much easier for you to keep your nerves under control.
15. Try not to get your hopes up and be realistic.
Even if you dream of being in a relationship with this person, if dating goes well and you hit it off, try not to get your hopes up too much and remain realistic. The less you get your hopes up, the harder it is to be disappointed.
As you can see, there are many ways you can tackle your first date nerves. Whether it’s keeping yourself busy throughout the day, so you don’t have time to get nervous, planning the date well, so you know what to expect, or doing a video call before the date, so you know what to expect when it comes to interacting with them, before you know it you’ll be ready to go on your first date with little to no nerves.