Positive Self Talk

Sandra Malco

By Sandra Malco

Est. Reading Time: 14 Mins

Positive Self Talk

To understand what positive self talk is, you first need to understand what self talk is. Self talk is when you talk to yourself. Most of us talk to ourselves at some point, and there is no shame in doing so. Talking to yourself can help you get your ideas out of your head and into the world, even if no one is listening to them yet. You might catch yourself doing this at different times throughout the day, or maybe you don’t even realize you are doing it.

Positive self talk is more intentional, though. When you are having a positive self talk, you tell yourself positive things, such as compliments. Although it would be ideal for positive self talk to be automatic, something that happens without having to think about it too much, we often have to put in the effort to achieve positive thoughts. You are your biggest critic, so finding positive things to say to yourself isn’t always easy.

Benefits of Positive Self Talk

Positive thinking benefits.
Positive thinking benefits.

You benefit so much from positive self talk and having happy, positive thoughts to fuel that self talk. Some specific benefits of these positive practices are:

Self confidence.

When you feel good in general, you feel good about yourself, and you become more confident. Don’t wait for someone else to compliment you, compliment yourself, and start building your self confidence.

Better mood.

You will have fewer mood swings and be in a better mood by feeding your positive brain thoughts.

More energetic.

When you’re feeling down emotionally, you are likely feeling down physically too. When you practice positive self talk you will boost how you feel, making you more energetic.

More productive.

This goes along with being more energetic. If you have the drive and energy to do things, you will be more productive as well.

Less stress.

Logically, when you have a positive experience, your stress levels will not be as high, and you will feel more calm and content.

Positive Self Talk Routine to Follow

Positive thinking routine.
Positive thinking routine.

Try following this routine to ensure you have a day filled with positive self talk.

1. Be well-rested.

Make sure you sleep and wake up with enough hours of rest in between. Everyone is different, and each person’s body may require a different amount of sleep. So just make sure you are resting enough to feel good throughout the day. Lack of sleep can put you in a bad mood more easily, or you may be more irritable.

2. Finish your morning duties.

Any tasks you have to complete in the morning, get those out of the way, so you don’t feel like you have anything pending. You want your full attention on your moment of self-thought, so it has the best effect.

3. Get ready for the day.

Depending on your preference, you might get ready for the day before completing your morning duties; that’s okay too. Getting ready makes you feel a little more put together, forcing you to put effort into yourself. Even if it’s minimal, it will make a difference.

4. Start your positive self talk.

Now that you have all the other things you have to do and look good, you can start your positive self-talk.

Positive Self-Talk Tips

Follow these tips for the most positive self talks.

Use a mirror when possible.

Using a mirror is helpful because you can see yourself, making it easier to relax a little and give the feeling that you are talking to a person. It makes it feel more real, and you might take yourself more seriously if you think talking to yourself is silly.

Write down your thoughts.

Writing is another way to express your positive self talk. You don’t necessarily have to be speaking out loud. In reality, you might not always be able to have a positive self talk by speaking out loud. Imagine if you are at your office where you work, and you find that you need a moment to have a positive self talk.

Talking out loud may be inconvenient and interrupt those around you, so writing what you would say is a great thing to do in this scenario. The best thing to do is to have a designated journal to create a safe space for yourself to always come back to and let your positive thoughts flow.

Breathing control.

It’s important to learn how to properly control your breath to relax and make sure you stay calm in stressful situations. Until positive self talk kicks in, remaining calm and collected is important. Try to be in total control of your body and thoughts when having a positive self talk.

Being in a comfortable space.

Feeling comfortable will help your positive self talk flow more easily. Make sure you can find a comfortable space to express your positive thoughts.

Negative Self Talk

Understanding what positive self talk is, makes it easy to decipher what negative self talk is. It is the complete opposite, when you speak to yourself negatively. It has been proven that we tend to do more negative self talk because we tend to have more negative thoughts than positive thoughts. This is due to high levels of stress or anxiety, or your fears creeping in.

Insecurity and lack of self confidence are also big protagonists in the occurrence of negative self talk. We all have bad days where we might feel down, and negative thoughts are what will drive us during those moments, but it’s important to know how to handle that so you can get back to experiencing positive thoughts instead.

Disadvantages of Negative Self Talk

These are some of the disadvantages of having negative thoughts that lead to negative self talk.

  • Poor mental health. Any time you think negatively, your mental health will be affected by this. If you are frequently having negative self talks, it will be worse. Although it can be difficult to handle these feelings, do your best to get back on the right track to better self talk.
  • Low self-esteem. Experiencing negative self talk will lower your self-esteem and make you feel less confident. Don’t let the negative thoughts control that part of you, and stay strong when you are feeling this way.
  • Low tolerance. You will likely be easily annoyed and have a lower tolerance for things that test your temper. Remember, this is just a bad moment, and by learning how to handle those negative thoughts, you can avoid lashing out when you are having these feelings.

How to Handle Negative Thoughts

Since negative self talk and negative thoughts are inevitable, you must know what to do when experiencing them. Follow these tips to get back on track to positive thoughts and positive self talk.

  • Surround yourself with things or people that make you happy or put you in a better mood. Frequently the cause of our negative thoughts is that we might be in a bad mood. By surrounding yourself with things that impact you positively, your mood will likely improve, and the negative thoughts will subside.
  • Have a plan for what to do to ride out the negative thought wave. Everyone has their own way of handling tough situations, figuring out what works best for you, and making a plan for when you have these bad days. When you’re not feeling your best and you start having negative self talks, it will likely be difficult to figure out what to do at the moment because you are distracted by the negativity. If you have a plan, you can automatically turn to that plan for help to navigate the bad moment.
  • Make reminders. These could be digital reminders on your phone or physical reminders such as a post-it near your workspace or on the mirror. Anywhere you will see the reminder. Write down compliments to yourself, positive reinforcements, happy thoughts, motivational quotes, anything you think will encourage the negative thoughts to go away and the positive ones to start flowing again.


Some people can feel embarrassed to talk to themselves, but having positive self talks is nothing to feel ashamed of. Also, keep in mind that your self talks don’t necessarily have to be out loud, and you can write them down instead, or even take a moment to just think these thoughts.

If you’re going to do it that way, make sure you are somewhere you won’t be interrupted, so you can dedicate 100% of yourself to those positive thoughts. Although you are not actually speaking, this is still a form of self talk, a silent self talk.

Now that you are a pro at having positive self talks, and generating positive thoughts all around, encourage others to have positive self talks. The more people that practice this, the happier everyone will be, making the world more harmonious.

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