In my early twenties, I had literally dated about four douchebags in a row over a span of two years, all of which either cheated on me or did drugs and allowed the drugs to be more important than me and our relationship. Each relationship only lasting a month or so.
As you can imagine, before I even turned 23 I was pretty much done with guys all the way around and done with dating anyone - period. I hated men, I hated love, I literally looked at every single person with a penis in absolute disgust because I had been hurt so much and so many times in a row.
Like, I was so over dating, I wasn’t even trying out the lesbian route every fed up girl in America says she’s going to go when she’s tired of men. I was really fed up with dating and love and sex.
Sex and the whole love scene period became absolutely dead and totally unreal to me, like maybe it happened for some people but hey, it’s ok, it’s not happening for me. I had accepted my fate.
I imagine some of you feel that way right now, and if you do just know that I feel your pain because I’ve lived it. And I’m here to tell you that you’ll make it through.
Actually, taking a break from dating is a wonderful experience, and you should feel super lucky to have reached this point in your life right now.
Taking a break is going to allow you to focus on your inner self, things you love and aspire to be, everything that is important about you, and to you, things you may even need to change or fix about you.
For some of you, maybe the idea isn’t so prevalent in your mind and you might not even realize that you need a break from the love scene. We’re here to snap you out of it and get you back on track.
Here are 11 signs and reasons to take a break from dating, pronto. So quick, you’ll have to kick that guy out of your bed that you brought home last night before you even start reading these signs. Get to a kickin’ girl!
11 Signs That Are Telling You To Stop Dating Right Now
1. Too many douchebags in a row and they were all too similar
While it may be normal to date guys that are similar to one another in different ways over the years, nobody is ever supposed to date nine cheaters that beat on their girlfriends - in a row with no decent guy in between.
It sounds kinda funny, at least the douchebag part does, but it really happens and when it really happens it’s far from funny, just like it happened with me.
I was stuck in a rut of dating the same dude over and over, the same thuggish, ruggish white guy that acted white but black kind-of, and he smoked weed, had a baby mama, caused me all kinds of problems, and drove a honda that he had no license for...
Sadly, I'm being serious. They all ended up having the same exact douchebag qualities.
When I realized that I literally just dated one guy with four different faces and body types, I was so mad at myself that not only did I hate every man for being poor people in relationships, but I was pissed off at myself for dating such losers, thus being a loser myself pretty much.
When the universe sends you so many “not so great” things in a row, I think it’s safe to say that it might be trying to tell you something like, slow down there babe - you’ll find the right one soon enough, don’t rush it with this Mr. right now’s - or something like that.
2. Fighting too much with everyone you date
Ok, this is a huge red flag for you personally and you should immediately halt all dating right now ASAP.
Typically fighting for two people that are seeing each other won’t occur until later on in a more committed relationship or deeper relationship at least, and if you do fight with your date night lover it’s usually over something pretty pathetic like him checking out another girl, or you talking to your ex over a phone call.
But never are you supposed to fight a date just a few nights in, and certainly not every single date you have. And the arguments are pretty brutal already? Something is wrong there and it’s time to take a step back and see why you are getting so angry during the dating scene.
You might even be attracting violent, abusive types, so that’s something to look out for you as well. You attract what you put out there so always be wary of the person you are showing off to the public and in private.
3. You’re insecure about yourself, don’t love yourself, and/or you’re depressed
Remember the saying “you can’t love anyone else if you don’t love yourself first”, well it’s not just a saying but it’s absolutely the truth.
If you are insecure about yourself, you’re not going to attract very good quality relationships and your relationships are going to end up really taking a hard hit because you’re never going to be truly happy without loving yourself first.
The person you are with needs to love themselves also, in order for this to work properly. That’s not to say that you don’t have insecurities, we’re human and we all do.
But you’ve got to learn to love yourself with whatever you’re made up of and whatever you look like, regardless of what the rest of the world thinks.
I found out the hardest way possible that when you are insecure about yourself, your relationships are pure hell. It’d almost be better to date Satan himself then for two insecure people to date one another. At least Satan is somewhat sure of himself and has some type of confidence.
When I was 23 I had probably one of the worst relationships of my life, and mainly because I felt desperate going into it in the very beginning anyway.
The guy was not my type, I don’t typically date scrawny nerds that suck at sex but as I said, I was desperate and insecure. Things took a turn for the worst almost immediately into the relationship.
I didn’t trust him, I hated who I was at the time, so I hated him too, and all we ever did was fight like cats and dogs.
The guy was a complete wimp and just didn’t satisfy me the way I needed to be satisfied with a more manlier man, so we completely clashed and needless to say, we have a strong ‘hate’ towards each other today, ten years later, because it was so brutal when we dated.
But it all came from being so insecure with myself that I just dated whoever the fuck smiled at me, or whoever the hell wanted me at that time, and obviously, you can’t do that.
You are not compatible with people just because you can smile at each other and have sex (if that’s what you want to call it), the sooner you realize that the better off you’re going to be. It is much better to be single and sexless than to be with someone who drains your soul.
4. Feeling disgusted with every person you’d normally look at in a sexual way
Earlier I talked about how during this time in my life I could seriously feel disgusted for any male that I saw on the street, whether I knew them or not.
I had never felt that way before in my life, and thankfully I haven’t felt that way again since, but just the sight of a man would piss me off after going through hell with four different dudes the last couple of years.
This was completely strange for me too, as I’ve been boy crazy since being boy crazy was a thing in the ’90s.
I loved love and the thought of having someone to hold forever and ever, getting married and living out the life you wanted together. It was even somewhat an obsession growing up, that I became desperate and insecure.
So, I think to go through too many similar, yet screwed up relationships back to back to back to back only played on my heartstrings even more, so the disgust was more towards the fact that I thought I was doomed for life and I would never be happy with anyone, and that was if I would even find anyone.
Being disgusted with every person you meet that you normally would feel some type of attraction towards is a huge personal issue that will need to be worked on before reviving again - it’s time to take a break and take a step back to work on yourself.
5. Being a serial dater, or getting caught up in too many dates with too many people
Yes, this is actually a thing. Serial daters. Instead of going on a massive “redrum” spree, they’re dating far too many people and too little of a timeframe.
I know, you’re single and ready to mingle, and you’re allowed to date whoever you want and as many whoever's as you want, and truthfully you are!
But if you want to keep your heart out of the fryer, and your reputation and secret business a little more ‘under wraps’ try dating way fewer people as you are now. It’s totally fine to have several guys or girls that you’re seeing if you’re single, but you don’t need eight dates - one for every night of the week and one to have sex with - to find your husband or wife, ok?
I’m talking to both men and women here, it’s not ok for one and ok for the other, not at all.
Both men and women alike need to get it together and stop dating and having sex with too many people at once or within a close time span. That’s how you spread diseases and have babies, let’s not conceive a child during a time like this, please.
The reason you’re dating and/or having sex with so many people in such a small amount of time is showing that you are not happy with yourself, or your current situation, whatever that may be.
You’ll need to take a step back from dating and from the people you love the most, and start focusing more on yourself and loving yourself the most instead.
It will be said thousands of times during this article, not only because it’s true but because I’ve personally lived it and I know it works, you have to love yourself and be content with yourself before you’re ever going to be happy with someone else.
The same applies to them, so even if you love yourself, if they don’t love themselves then it’s still going to be a battlefield.
Once you’re sure of yourself and content with the person that you are, you’ll be able to handle dating one or two people over several months span of time because you’re going to realize just how much you are worth, and not many people are deserving of that time with, nor that part of you.
6. Also, if you’re getting caught on dates by other people you’ve recently dated
To piggyback off of serial dating and dating too many people at once, if you’re starting to get caught by other dates you recently had while on another date, it’s time to take a step back from the love affairs. It makes you look insecure and unsure about yourself.
We know, you’re not necessarily an item with the person you are dating, but then again why go on dates anyways if you’re not trying to court someone to see where it could eventually go?
This is exactly what the other person and possibly both dates are going to think about it, why be with me when you were literally just with him five hours ago? Am I just another date in the books to see how many numbers you can rack up? Another notch on your belt?
Getting caught on a date by a date you just had yesterday makes you look like a complete bitch or douchebag. Don’t be a “date” cheater.
7. You’ve got too much going on with you right now
Now, this could be something really good going for you or something really bad going on, either way, if you’ve got a lot on your plate chances are you don’t need to be dating right now.
For example, you just had a baby or you have a baby that you’re taking care of, all on your own and you’re a first-time mother. Or maybe you just broke up with your last boyfriend of two years and you’re really lonely right now.
You could even just be really busy with 2 jobs, school, and taking care of your grandmother and you’re really just not able to date anyone at the moment.
If you've got so much going on, good or bad, it is not really a great time to be dating around or even dating just one person.
Unless the two of you are in the exact same positions and can handle the distance, the weeks without seeing each other, the unexplained hang-ups on phone calls without going crazy thinking something bad is going on - we just think it’s a bad idea to possibly hurt two people in the long run with life being super busy for you.
8. Falling in love way too easily
If every time you date someone, you seem to fall in love with them with the quickness, Hunny it’s time to take a step back and reevaluate yourself, ask yourself what is causing me to fall in love so easily with anyone and everyone I date?
When you fall in love with every person you go on a date with or have been dating for a couple of weeks, or more than you should be falling in love with anyways, this is a problem and it’s a personal problem for you.
You’ve got to stop dating and find how to love yourself the best you can, and I promise, it will come to you when it’s the right time. And that’s not just something that happens in the movies, it truly does happen in real life!
9. Still have feelings for someone else
Whether you broke up two minutes ago or two years ago, if you’re hung up on someone else with all of your heart into it - don’t do it. Dating around that is, instead, allow yourself time to heal from this previous guy or girl you were with that you just can’t get over.
I hate to say it but you’ll never be able to fully and truly love someone else, and have a good relationship too if you’re always thinking about someone else.
You deserve to be happy and the only way to be happy is to be glad that you are the person you are, and have the life you have, with or without that person or this person.
Even if you aren’t in love with someone, and you were only dating for a month and it wasn’t that serious, still allow yourself time to breathe after a break-up.
It doesn’t really matter how the previous relationship ended, if you recently broke up with or you were broken up with recently, we suggest giving it some time before even dating someone.
If you’re looking for someone to just have sex with or just to chat with let them know that ahead of time.
10. You really don’t care how the other person ends up feeling, dating is a game to you
Let me be the first to say, shame on you if you treat dating like a game and people like pawns in your sick mind, and not sick in a good way! You ought’ to be punished!
But since you’ve given me something to write about, then I ask you to please listen up to what we’ve got to say about you and dating - it’s the least you could do for humanity.
Stop dating. That’s it.
People aren’t to be used as objects or numbers in your book and if you truly believe this, psychologists say that this actually reflects insecurity issues within yourself, and not actually expressing confidence. Oh no, it’s quite the opposite.
Listen, if you’re single and just want someone to fuck, that’s fine - but can we at least start finding people that want exactly the same as what we want? So like, someone who wants true love doesn’t end up with someone who just wants their dick sucked for the third time in one night?
Let’s be real, it might feel just fine and dandy to you but the one getting their heartbroken after a few dates in (and they thought it would actually be something) can feel a lot more pain then they honestly should be feeling.
Don’t be a heartbreaker, it’s not a good record to have, and if you ever grow up and actually want to settle down with someone, you just might end up getting your heart way broken too.
11. Dating married men/women
Dating married men and/or women over and over is a huge problem and you are facing a whole lot of different dangerous scenarios by doing this.
Say you’re a female sleeping with a married man and the wife founds out, finds some super vindictive way to either get you or her husband in legal trouble, thus landing you locked up or with some legal battle over your head?
Or what if you’re a man sleeping with a married woman and the husband finds out? And literally, finds you in the bed with his woman? He’s going to stomp the ever-loving dog shit out of you son! It’s time to stop dating married people and start picking people on our damn levels, y’all!
Messing around with married people doesn’t only affect the person they are married to but what if the couple has kids? You could potentially destroy children’s lives too.
There are far too many issues, problems, even legal battles that could come from messing around with someone who is married, so tread lightly if this sad affair is your type of thing.