Most relationships are rainbows and sunshine at the beginning. Over time, maintaining the same atmosphere can be challenging. Most people don’t know what to do next to keep the flame burning.
It is for this reason that we should treat our relationships like sports. We should have ground rules that steer us in the right direction. These rules make sure that we are doing things right to avoid penalties. Rules make sense in marriage and relationships.
They keep us from making life-altering mistakes that see us flush our relationships down the drain. Following these rules will make our love life feel like a bed of roses.
Violate them at your peril.
Compromise is the backbone of healthy and successful relationships. Compromising is all about understanding each other. It is about making sacrifices for the betterment of your relationship. Compromise gives relationships a sense of balance.
Relationships where partners do not compromise tumbles down faster than the tower of Babel. Uncompromising couples fight all the time over small and petty issues. A healthy relationship is not about who wins. Remember, you are a couple who work as one.
You must understand each other’s needs, and you must be willing to sacrifice a lot to keep your relationship afloat. Never take each other for granted by being stiff and not compromising. Learn to negotiate.
2. Maintain the Same Pace
Maintaining the same pace your relationship started on is crucial. If you need to shift gears, make sure that you do so to accelerate, pedal to the metal. In other words, do not stop doing the little things you were doing when you started dating.
As simple as they may seem, they are essential. They are what made your partner fall for you. If you regularly bought chocolates and flowers for your girlfriend, continue doing so. Keep up the communication. Never forget to compliment your partner. Always remind your partner how special he or she is and that you love them.
Keep up the communication. Never forget to compliment your partner. Always remind your partner how special he or she is and that you love them.
If you had date nights or Netflix and chill days, maintain them. Another thing that you should always keep in mind is to celebrate special occasions you share. Never forget your anniversary. If you do, apologize and make it up to your spouse.
3. Be Honest and Always Apologize When you are Wrong
There is no doubt that honesty is the best policy. Always be open and frank with your partner. If you have a date and you are running late, tell them in advance even if it will not sit well with them. Never conceal things from your partner. As much as the truth may be bitter, let them know. Honesty cultivates trust.
When it comes to apologizing when you are wrong, do it sincerely or when it is necessary. When Eminem said, “I apologize even though I know it’s lies.” I felt that. Sometimes you have to make little sacrifices to maintain a steady and healthy relationship.
Apologize even if you don’t have to. Remember, your goal is to keep your partner happy. However, do not mistake this aspect with outright white lies. The golden rule is honesty, not deception.
4. Never Bring Up the Past
Past issues and mistakes are like water under a bridge; they are long gone. No matter how mad your spouse or partner makes you, never remind them of things they did in the past to make them feel bad.
The past does not have to be about the things you did while you were together; it includes past things such as partners in previous relationships.
Never compare your partner unfavorably with your past girlfriend or boyfriend. Doing this cuts your partner to the core. It is more hurtful than you can imagine.
5. Do not Get Personal by Saying Mean Things
While it is healthy to argue, never let anger control you. When arguments get out of hand, it is common for angry couples to try to win the argument. Some think that hitting below the belt by saying hurtful personal things such as your partner’s weakness is the way to go.
Doing this is immature, and it will only alienate your partner. Never mention things your partner is sensitive about or the things he or she cannot control, such as their fading attractiveness or their baldness. Also, refrain from using curse words.
Talk things out when you are calm and collected because it’s the time you will be in the right frame of mind. You should also strive to end arguments as soon as you can. Do not let the day end when you are angry at each other. As the holy book says, never go to bed when you are angry.
6. Understand your Partner’s Background
Take your time to know your partner. Ask about their past. Appreciate the fact that your partner is not who he or she was in the past; past experiences are the things that have shaped them into who they are now.
Understand their past, and if possible, try to put yourself in their shoes. Understanding your partner’s past will help you understand who they are. The same concept applies to the modern world. To understand the present, you must know about history.
Your partner may not be expressing his or her feelings because he or she had a rough past or hails from a family that is not expressive. Always be conscious of what they went through. If you do this, you will rarely rub shoulders due to simple misunderstandings.
7. Learn to Listen
Listening is an aspect that most people take for granted. Listening not only involves hearing what a person says, but digesting what he or she says, thinking about the issue carefully, and processing what your partner says so that you can have the perfect feedback.
Listen to your partner’s complaints and concerns without judging them. We all need a shoulder to lean on, and we can be the shoulder if we listen to what our partners are saying.
Listening to solves problems. It shows concern and opens doors to confiding. It cultivates empathy. After listening, do not look at things from your perspective alone, also look at them from your partner’s perspective.
8. Know How to Appreciate and Manage Differences
We are not all alike. If that were the case, the world would be a boring place, and we would probably die from monotony. Managing differences is key to any relationship.
Disagreements never sink ships; it’s the people that turn into icebergs that do. You become an iceberg when you get cold and resort to name-calling. Do not stonewall conflicts. Learn how to control negative feelings that come about as a result of your differences.
If you embrace each other’s differences, you will quickly appreciate each other and probably pick up new hobbies. Sort out your differences in a civilized way without disrespecting each other. If you train yourself to do this, you will successfully pluck the thorns from your rosy relationship.
9. Give your Partner More Freedom
Give your partner some space to do what they want and to live their life as they please. Do not try and control them or change them. Let them engage in activities they enjoy. Give them the space they need to pursue their careers.
Motivate them. Never cage your partner or expect them to hang out with you all the time. Give your partner some space to be with his or her friends. Never restrict them from their friends, family, or activities they like. Your partner’s happiness is your happiness.
Do whatever it takes to keep them happy. This includes giving them space and freedom they need. As you well know, chained animals are never happy. The same applies to human beings. Never forget this rule. Allow your partners to be who they want to be.
10. Never Make Threats or Give Conditions
Never make threatening remarks to your partner. You should also never give conditions where they have to choose something important to them or your relationship.
Saying things like, “I dare you to do it…” or “you don’t have the guts….” sends warning messages to your partner. They may start thinking of leaving you. Never use conditional threats such as, “if you don’t do this, I will not do that for you…”
Such conditional threats create doubt in people’s minds. Threats alienate people. They rarely work, especially if a person knows that they are likely to hear them again.
If you genuinely love and care for your partner, you will try your best to keep them by your side. Getting into a relationship might seem a little bit easy; however, maintain your relationship is not a walk in the park.
You have to make sacrifices and be willing to compromise. Sticking to these golden relationships rules will help you take your relationship to greater heights. So, stick to them by all means to maintain or take your relationship to the next level.