How Long to Wait Between Dates

When you’re dating someone, as excited as you may be for the next date every time you see them, you need to remember to play it cool and not be super intense. Avoid looking desperate for the next date, and give that person some space so they can miss you.

It’s okay if you’re texting every day, but avoid hanging out all the time so dates feel more special and you don’t get tired of each other before you even really get to know one another and build a connection.

Good Rule of Thumb for Timing Dates

Allow Time to Pass Between Each Date

It’s important to let time pass between dates and to take your time before asking for another date so you don’t look desperate. Unless you discussed when your next date would be, or something specific going on on a certain day, on your last date, don’t text them regarding the next date.

A good rule of thumb is to avoid touching the subject of another date for 3-4 days after the date. You also want to make sure not to be too straightforward when asking for the next date, instead, hint at it so he asks you out and it’s not you requesting another date.

Also make sure you do not text them just to try to go on another date and start a conversation first.

If He Texts, Then Engage

If he’s really interested in you, it’s likely that after your date, he’ll text you. He’ll likely try to continue a conversation about something you talked about during your date, or maybe he’ll mention he had a nice time. It’s a good idea to wait for him to text you because it will help you determine how interested he is, but if you really like him, it’s okay for you to text him too.

Just make sure you engage in a manner that doesn’t cut the conversation but leaves it open so you can continue talking. Don’t be discouraged if he doesn’t text right away; he probably doesn’t want to come off as clingy. Wait for a couple of hours to go by, and if he hasn’t texted by the next morning, send a casual message about how you had fun. 

Don’t Compulsively Send Text Messages

When the date is over, certain texts are better than others. You could ask if they got home safe or tell them you had a great night and say good night. Those are all very acceptable texts to send your date.

It’s very important that your date doesn’t feel chased because you don’t want to seem needy or desperate. Although it may feel impossible not to text them too much, it will also benefit you if your date isn’t as interested.

It will help you keep your feelings in check and not get overly excited, and your feelings won’t be as hurt if it doesn’t work out.

Don’t Wait Too Long

The time that goes by between dates is very important. It is important that some time goes by, but you don’t want to wait too long because that person could think that they did something wrong, that you’re not interested in them, or that you don’t want to go on another date. Avoid waiting more than 5 days to text them about seeing each other again and going on another date.

Ideally, you probably don’t want to wait more than 3 days, and if it happens to take you longer than 3-5 days, you should let them know what kept you busy so they know you really are interested in going on more dates with them, however, you had something going on.

Timing When Replying Is Important

If he texts you after the date, you need to think about how quickly you will reply. You don’t want to let too much time pass, but you don’t want to text back immediately because you don’t want to seem too eager. Avoid texting back immediately, let less than an hour go by if you’re really interested, and if it’s really late, text back in the morning.

The benefit of texting back in the morning is that you carry the conversation on to the next day, allowing him to continue talking to you or asking about your day later. Whatever you do, don’t let more than half a day go by, or he’ll think you’re not interested.

Finding an Excuse to Go on a Date

If you can’t wait any longer to go on another date, and he’s not asking you out on another one, find something happening on a specific date in the near future, and bring it up. Think of things such as a movie coming out, a local event going on, or a concert.

If he’s interested in you, and he knows you’re interested in the event that’s going on, he’ll probably want to take you. This is the easiest way to get asked on another date and be able to see them again.

How Many Days Between Dates

The sooner is always better when it comes to going on the next date, but below, you’ll find a more detailed guide of what your timing should look like.

Days Between the First and Second Date.

Wait at least 5 days for the next date to happen, and bring up the topic, or ask for the date when 3 days have gone by, after the initial date. It’s ideal for you to go on another date 5-6 days after the first date, and it’s excessive to wait more than 8-10 days for the next day, unless there is a reasonable explanation, such as one of you will be out of town or something like that.

You don’t want too much time to pass because your chemistry and initial interest could fizzle out, and it just won’t be the same anymore.

Days Between the Second and Third Date.

After you’ve gone on your second date, wait at least 3-4 days to go on a third date. Ideally, you talked about your third date on your second date, and you have an idea of what you want to do, all you need to do is set a specific day and time. Try to make the third date different than the previous dates.

It’s normal for the first few dates to be getting dinner, so you have a chance to talk, but it’s also important to see if you’re able to have fun with each other and enjoy each other’s company, even if there’s not a lot of talking.

You could try going to a concert, doing an activity you both like together, going on a hike, etc. Just make sure it’s something other than just eating together.

Days Between the Third and Fourth Date.

By now, you’ve been on a couple of dates with each other, are familiar with one another, and feel comfortable with this person. If you’ve been the one hinting at when the next date would be all of the other times, let him ask you on the fourth date entirely on his own.

Ideally, you won’t wait more than 7 days for the next date to happen. If your previous dates have gone well and you’ve been really hitting it off with him, this person should already be texting you pretty frequently.

Typically by now, he should be texting you every day or every other day, suggesting plans or things to do together. If after 7 days your crush hasn’t asked you on another date, then be the one to ask for the date. 

What happens after the first 4-5 dates? 

When you’ve gone on 4-5 dates, you know the dating is getting serious. There has to be some serious interest for both of you to want to continue seeing each other, and if you’re following the timeline we’ve mentioned, you’ve probably seen each other at least once a week for about a month now.

You will want to continue dating this person and eventually talk about if you’re dating each other exclusively or what you’d like this to become. 

Remember, these tips are just suggestions and should especially be applied if you’re dating someone you’re also getting to know that you recently met. If your date is a long-time friend or someone you know pretty well, it wouldn’t be surprising for you to text each other right away. It would probably be the most natural thing since you already have a friendship established and likely a conversation too.

You also may find yourself in a situation where you are completely head over heels for the person you just went on a date with, and you just know you should keep texting each other. But in most cases, you should keep in mind everything mentioned above.