We’ve all heard about the battle of being single vs being in a relationship, we’ve all heard those in a relationship say that it’s better to be single, and we’ve all heard those who are single complaining about wanting a relationship instead. But is one really better than the other?
According to doctors and psychologists all over the world, it varies from person to person, because it really depends on your life at that moment and what you’ve got going on for you at that time. People who are confident, have a job, a home, and have things in order find it’s much more convenient to be in a relationship than those who are still searching for themselves.
The saying that you must love yourself before anyone else loves you also rings true when it comes to the battle of being one vs becoming two. If you’ve got plenty of time, and you’re still young and finding yourself, it might be better to stay single until you’ve figured things out a little more.
It’s not just about your age either, there are 50 something-year-olds that are still out there searching and there are 18-year-olds right now with their forever one and only. It really just depends on you and your specific journey for yourself.
There is no set age that you have to be to meet your true love.
But as far as one actually being better than the other, as a whole, it is better to be loved and have someone to love - but it’s got to be with someone who treats you right and someone that you could spend your life with.
Pros & Cons of Being Single VS Being In a Relationship
First and foremost, it all depends on you
Before starting on the pros and cons of the single life vs lovers lane, let me just say that the timing, age, and circumstances in your life right now mean everything when it comes to staying single or saying yes to that guy or girl you’ve been eyeing.
This means that if you are fifteen years old reading this, chances are you are just fine being single and you’ve got all the time in the world to find that one for you. Age is just a number and you could meet your soulmate when you’re two years old, but you never need to rush or push anything if you are still young with time.
That being said, being older doesn’t mean that you’re ready for a relationship either. It’s also about the timing and circumstances of your life. If you’re not happy with yourself, your looks, your situation, your finances, your job, etc., chances are you won’t be happy with them either. It’s all about finding that right time to say yes and settle down.
Being single: Pros
- During the single-stage, one can easily find themself. It isn’t just something in the movies, finding yourself truly is a real-life thing and when you’re single you have every opportunity in the world to do everything you truly want to do in life. You are able to find out who you are and what you stand for because it’s just you in these life situations.
- You never have to compromise. If you want to eat steak tonight, you can eat steak. If you want to watch a love movie that makes you cry your eyes out, you will be able to do that. You never have to compromise or sacrifice what you like and what you want to please someone else.
- Be your most authentic self. Everyone knows that when you are single you’re able to be exactly who you are, without anyone telling you otherwise. A lot of times in a relationship, especially relationships that aren’t exactly good for us, we aren’t our true selves and we end up compromising who we are. When you’re single you can always be your true, authentic self.
- Live unapologetically. Singles are able to live their lives without answering or apologizing to anyone. Many people take this as an opportunity to live unapologetically, take risks, do things they’ve never done, and in the midst of it all they end up finding themselves. If you’re single, take this time to do things without the disapproval of others.
- Practice self-care and self-love like none other. Being single allows you the time to take care of you, yourself, and just you - nobody else. Practice self-love and self-care while you’re single so that you better yourself for when the time is right, and for when you do find that one. Statistics say that if you can live life on your own, you’ll become a much stronger person. So make the most out of your single life, learning to love who you are and taking care of yourself to the fullest.
In a relationship: Pros
- You’ll always have someone there to have your back. Being with someone means that you have someone there for you 24/7. Of course, you have people with you and there for you when you are single too, but having a significant other is a built-in best friend, lover, protector, and all of the above - at any given time. You never have to feel alone and you have someone to stand up for you, loving you at all costs.
- Doing things together is always super fun. You can have tons of fun doing things by yourself of course, but having someone there with you to share in the fun makes life 10 times better. It’s awesome to experience new places together, and sharing in these experiences only strengthens your relationship. You are able to learn from each other too, share ideas, and just bask in the fun of going to Wal-Mart and playing around like kids or traveling to a new place for the day. Having someone around that you love (and that loves you back) makes even the smallest things seem so large and exciting!
- You feel secure about your future when it comes to love, finances, marriage, etc.. A lot of times society puts pressure on you to be engaged or married by a certain age, and if you’re not you can start to feel out of place. Having a significant other, engaged, married, or just dating but serious, will at least put you more at ease when it comes to your future. It will make you feel like you won’t have to worry, push, pull, and fight so much when it comes to paying bills or popping the question!
- Being in a relationship can make you feel completed or fulfilled whereas before you felt empty. Humans are meant to couple up, mate, and procreate. So when you find someone and you feel like it’s meant to be, you can feel completed and whole again, whereas before when you were single you felt like something was missing. Couples all over say that they feel fulfilled or complete being with their partner, and before they met them they felt like their heart wasn’t full or they felt insignificant.
- Satisfying relationships will actually make you become a better person. Researchers say that when relationships are satisfying they can truly give a person better health. How so? Well, when someone is in love and happy, dopamine is flowing through their body at such a high rate that the person sporting all that love ends up doing things they would have never or have never done before, like quit smoking or start a new job.
Sometimes the person we’re in love with will inspire us to do something (or to quit doing something) causing us to have better health, and in return that creates longer lives.
Being Single: Cons
- Going out by yourself can sometimes be hard, even sad. When you’re single and you go out to a store, or to dinner, or even just to get gas at a gas station - you’re bound to see a few couples out and about together, living and loving life. If you have a heart at all it will pull on your heartstrings just a little and you can even start to feel sad. Lots of singles say that they won’t go out to eat or go to the movies by themselves because it depresses them. There’s nothing wrong with doing it, but being in the midst of it and seeing all of the happy couples can sometimes make you feel sad and you start to wonder if you are always going to feel that way.
- Loneliness. Piggybacking off of the above statement, sometimes loneliness starts to set in for those who are single and always going out by themselves or with friends only. Or sometimes seeing your friends and their man, or with their girl, can spark that lonely feeling. Laying down in the bed at night with nobody but your doggie can create an empty feeling and make you feel like you’re all by yourself in this world.
- Getting hit on, possibly even stalked, by creeps or psycho chics. Be careful when you are single, some guys and girls get a hint of that sadness or loneliness and then the creeps creep in. I’ve heard many horror stories from single friends and single-family members of being stalked or approached by psycho chics or psycho dudes, or creepy people period, all because they know you are single and looking. Even if you aren’t looking, some people take advantage of you being by yourself or without a mate, and they’ll use every chance they get to try and talk to you or be around you.
- Things can get boring or repetitive. A single-life can sometimes be boring, even repetitive, and plenty of people report feeling bored or feeling like their life is just turning in circles when they’re single. Since humans are meant to socialize and fall in love, procreate, and continue that cycle of love and families, it’s normal to feel like you’re bored or things are repetitive when you don’t have someone to share your time with.
- Just not knowing what true love feels like, having someone truly there for you every step of the way. They say it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. We as humans, love love and thrive off of it even, it produces endorphins and dopamine in the body allowing you to experience life to the fullest. So when you’re single and you don’t know what love is, it can sometimes make you feel useless or worthless - which isn’t the case at all - but it’s how you feel.
In a relationship: Cons
- Always have to share. If you grew up without siblings and you’ve never had to share your things, getting in a relationship is going to be super hard for you when you have to start sharing everything. Even if you aren’t an only child and you did share growing up, sometimes as an adult it becomes harder sharing things that you deem as yours. Sometimes those very things you have to share are things that you really need for yourself and that becomes detrimental to some, depending on what it is and how much of it you have to give away.
- More sacrificing and compromising, along with more arguing. Just like having to share more, you’re going to have to learn to sacrifice and compromise when you’re in a relationship, and sometimes this can result in arguments. Sacrificing things that you really love can sometimes be one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. But when you really, truly love someone it won’t be as hard as you think.
- Apologizing for things you don’t think is wrong. When it comes to relationships, you are going to argue and have disagreements. That’s normal, and it’s actually healthier to argue than to not argue. However, there will be times that you will have to apologize just to make amends or to make your partner happy, even if you feel like you are the one who is right. Time to suck up your pride and make things better between the two of you if you want your relationship to work out.
- You may end up with less money than before. Especially for the man in a relationship, or for the “breadwinner” of the two, you might end up losing money on each paycheck rather than gaining money on payday. You’ll have things you have to buy for him or her when they need your help, there are birthdays and holidays, children whether they are yours or not, and then, of course, you have to feed him or her and go out on dates. You don’t always come out broke when you’re in a relationship but we can guarantee that you won’t have as much money as you did when you were single and not trying to impress or take care of anyone.
- Watching every move you make and every word you say. There will be times when you will have to bite your tongue and not say what you really want to say. You have to be mindful and respectful of your partner and be cautious of what you say and do around him or her. Not necessarily because they don’t like it but because you just have to be careful and mindful of your actions and words when you’re with someone as we all have different personalities and different opinions. Something that might be a joke to you could really piss him or her off, so you’ll have to figure out what makes them tick before you just say or do whatever you feel.
Are You Happier Single or In a Relationship Test?
1. When you go out to the store or just to the gas station, would you rather:
- Have someone go in and pay/pump for you (or you always do it for your significant other)
- I’m independent! I do everything myself and you would make your partner do it for themselves too
2. Going out to the mall or even to the movies by yourself sounds:
- Scary as hell
- Um, what’s wrong with that?
3. During the day, you are usually found:
- With your significant other
- By yourself, at your best friends house, or at home watching Netflix
4. If you could choose one or the other, you would choose:
- Love or Family
- Friendship or Amazing career
5. You feel like at this stage in your life when you are alone for a few hours, you:
- Feel lonely or start missing someone
- Love it!
6. When you see couples together out and about, you think of:
- Your significant other or being with someone you like or are thinking of
- You’re not really paying attention to other people or couples
7. You feel like on a Friday night you would rather:
- Go out to eat with your significant other than come home & watch a movie
- Go to a party, hang out with your best friend, or spend time alone
8. When you are in a relationship, you are MOST happy when:
- You’re spending time together or just doing things together
- You can get time apart to hang out with friends and do other things separately
9. Most of your relationships have been:
- Long term or intended for long term
- Short-lived and/or meant to be just for fun
10. Think of the single most important person in your life right now (besides family), who is it?:
- Your significant other or someone you’re talking to/longing for
- Your best friend/Another acquaintance in your life
11. If your best friend and significant other were in the middle of an argument and it was your best friend that was being irrational, how would you MOST LIKELY respond?
- I would take up for my man/woman of course!
- Gotta stand by my homie but will let him/her know they’re wrong
Mostly 1’s - You are obviously most happy when you are in a relationship, and if you have your life together, your finances together, and you’re secure with yourself - we say go for it and we wish you the best of luck! There is nothing more beautiful than two people finding each other and falling in love!
Mostly 2’s - It seems as if you are most happy when you are single. Work your magic baby, because being single is where it’s at in 2020! Find yourself, find out who YOU are before you go looking for the one FOR you. It will happen when it’s meant to but it sounds like you are better off single for right now!
Mixture of Both 1’s And 2’s - If you got somewhere right down the middle (or close enough), you could possibly be ready for the next step - whether that means breaking up with someone or getting with someone. Maybe you needed to find out that you were ready for a relationship right now? Or maybe you needed a sign that it was your time to be single?
Having this balance is absolutely perfect for both worlds, so be proud that you have found that balance, but if you aren’t with someone right now (or you are) and you’ve been questioning things - take this as your sign!