When You Should Leave a Relationship
Est. Reading Time: 19 Mins
Deciding to leave a relationship can be difficult, especially if you’ve been with this person for a long time. However, sometimes it’s simply what needs to happen. If you’re unsure whether it’s time for you to leave a relationship, think about if you’re noticing any of the signs mentioned below or if you ask yourself any of the questions we listed.
Signs You Should Leave a Relationship
1. He doesn’t pay attention to you.
Do you feel like you’re not getting enough attention from him? He might be too preoccupied with other things going on in his life to give you the attention you deserve, or maybe he gives you attention, but it’s not enough. If you notice this happening, it may be time to leave the relationship.
2. He doesn’t talk to you.
If you’re in a relationship with someone, basic communication is expected. If he’s not talking to you anymore, this is a sign you may be drifting apart, or maybe he’s not interested in you anymore. It’s definitely something you should talk about. There is a chance he may be going through something, and a conversation can resolve this.
Remember, you can’t expect him to talk to you 24/7 or be on his phone texting you constantly. If that’s what’s upsetting you, you may need to think about if what bothers you is his lack of communication or if it’s something else.
3. More fights than good times.
There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, everyone fights sometimes. The issue is when there are more fights than good times. When you’re in a relationship with someone, you should be happy 90% of the time, reserving the other 10% for any problems that may arise, as is expected when you share your life with someone else.
4. You aren’t his priority.
Maybe you’re not his top priority, that might be his job or his family, which is completely understandable. However, you should definitely be towards the top of his list. You are an important part of his life, and he should treat you as such. If this isn’t the case, it may be time to rethink things and decide if you need to leave the relationship.
5. You don’t see a future together.
In the beginning of any relationship you’ll find yourself being hopeful of spending forever together, but as time goes on this could change. If you don’t see a future with them, don’t waste your time or theirs and realize it’s time for you to leave them behind.
6. He doesn’t consider your opinion.
A relationship involves two people; therefore both of your opinions should be completely valid and considered when making decisions that affect both of you. You should be with someone who understands that and wants to know how you feel about things.
7. Your friends and family don’t like them.
You shouldn’t date someone based on if your friends and family approve of them or not, but if no one in your life likes them, it’s probably for a good reason.
It’s normal for a few people in your family to not be supportive of the relationship you’re in, or perhaps some of your friends don’t love him for you, but you know there’s a problem when absolutely everyone in your inner circle is telling you he’s not right for you, even after giving him a chance to prove them wrong.
8. They’re not honest with you.
Honesty and trust are integral parts of a relationship. They are the foundation of any good, successful relationship. If you can’t trust him or you notice he is dishonest with you, you shouldn’t be with him. As soon as you notice these behaviors, it’s best to part ways and leave the relationship, it will likely only get worse.
9. No shared interests.
It’s okay to not have everything in common, it would be odd if you shared all of the same interests, but if you don’t share any interests whatsoever, that might be something you want to pay closer attention to.
Oftentimes, you do activities together based on common interests, so you may notice that you never know what to do together or never want to do the same things, which could become a problem over time.
10. You’re bored.
You should leave the relationship if you’re feeling bored with him. Perhaps what was once fun and exciting has turned boring and mundane. It can be a tough pill to swallow when you realize this, but it’s necessary that you leave the relationship and find someone more fulfilling.
You should be growing together, trying new things, and keeping the relationship exciting, not letting it slow down and eventually burn out.
11. Not interested in trying new things with you.
Trying new things with him is key to keeping things interesting and not letting the relationship turn bland. New experiences allow you to evolve together and gain knowledge together, opening your mind to the world around you. If he’s not interested in trying new things when you propose those ideas, you should leave the relationship.
12. You’re not on the same page.
You may notice you don’t want the same things in life, or that you are moving at different paces. Perhaps you are dreaming of bigger things, and he’s not quite there yet, or maybe he’s moving too fast, and you feel like you can’t keep up.
Whether it’s due to you not being on the same page as him, or him not being on the same page as you, you should leave the relationship, at least until you can be on the same page again.
13. He’s rude or inconsiderate.
You should never tolerate him treating you poorly. Don’t allow anyone, let alone the man in your life, to be rude or inconsiderate towards you. If he does act this way, leave the relationship immediately, you deserve to be with someone who will be kind and caring.
14. He doesn’t respect you.
Respect is very important in any kind of relationship, especially in a romantic one. If the guy you’re with doesn’t respect you, you have no business staying with him.
Another thing you should look out for is how he treats those around him. If he’s disrespectful to the people around him as well, you can take that as a sign he might be that way with you in the future.
15. You have different values.
Your values should align with the person you’re with. They might not all be the same, but you should have basic, shared values to have a promising future with each other. It’s okay to leave the relationship if you have different values.
16. He has a lot of red flags.
You probably have a list in your head of red flags to look out for when dating someone. If you notice that this guy is checking many of those red flags off your list, leave the relationship before it turns into a bad situation or before your feelings get hurt.
Questions to Ask Yourself About Leaving the Relationship
If you’re not sure whether or not you should leave the relationship you’re currently in, ask yourself the following questions to make a decision.
Am I staying in the relationship because of the amount of time we’ve been together?
You may not realize it, but you could be staying in the relationship simply because you’re used to being with that person, or because you’ve already been together for so long that ending it and starting something new with someone else seems like a daunting idea.
Am I staying in the relationship because I’m afraid to be alone?
This is something you need to ask yourself because you should never be with someone simply because being alone scares you. You should be with someone because you want to be with them. If you find yourself thinking about this question a lot, it may be best to leave the relationship and discover who you are without him.
Is this a rough patch, or are there real problems that can’t be solved?
Try to figure out if the problems you are facing are momentary or if they are serious issues in your relationship. When you’ve been with someone for a while, you may notice the relationship having rough patches, but you overcome those problems at the end of the day, and you are stronger as a couple because of it.
If this isn’t the case and the problems can’t be resolved, or you realize you constantly have conflicts with him, you should leave the relationship.
Will I be happier without this person in the long run?
Ask yourself if you will be better off without them. Perhaps you are happy right now, at this moment, but when you think about facing bigger things with them, you realize that you won’t feel the same happiness you feel now.
Does this person help me grow or are they an obstacle in my life?
Your partner should be someone who pushes you to be a better person and helps you reach your goals, someone who motivates you to accomplish everything you want. He should not be an obstacle or someone that prevents you from doing this.
Things to Consider Before Leaving the Relationship
Before making the decision to leave for sure, consider the following points.
- Talk about things. He’s not a mind reader, and you need to tell him if something bothers you. As difficult as it may be to have these types of conversations, sometimes they are necessary.
- See if there is a solution if you want there to be. Talk about your problems or what you are unhappy with. Try to find a solution if you really want to work with him. Perhaps if you make it known you don’t like something or that you wish something was different, he will be willing to work on that and make improvements.
- Compromise. Remember, you both need to be willing to compromise in order to reach common ground and fix your issues. You have to swallow your pride and be mindful of how he’s feeling as well, and realize that perhaps you made mistakes too.
- Forgive. If you don’t want to leave the relationship just yet, find it in you to forgive him for the things he did that made you unhappy.
Making the Decision to Leave the Relationship
When making the final decision to leave the relationship, do the following.
- Talk to your friends. You might need support to make this decision, and that’s alright. Talk to your friends and ask them for advice before you choose to leave the relationship.
- Make a pro and con list. Write down all of the pros and cons of staying and of leaving. Use that to analyze the situation you are dealing with and make a well-rounded decision.
- Ask yourself if you can see yourself without them. It might be hard to imagine a life without them, especially if you deeply care about them, but you need to leave the relationship if you could see yourself being better without them.
You may not notice the signs mentioned above, but you do find yourself questioning your relationship and whether or not to leave, which in its own way is also a sign that you should leave the relationship.
So when making your decision to leave the relationship, make sure you take into consideration everything mentioned above to come to the best decision and do what’s right for you.