Signs He Is Playing You

Elena Knight

By Elena Knight

Est. Reading Time: 15 Mins

Signs He Is Playing You

A player is someone who isn’t serious about dating you and goes out with several people at the same time and hides it or leads you on only to drop you later on. Players are dishonest and deceiving and can’t be trusted. If you think the guy you like may be playing you, look out for the following signs.

15 Signs He Is Playing With You

Here are the most popular signs to look out for so that you can determine if he’s playing you.

1. He doesn’t respond as fast as before.

When a guy first meets you and shows interest in you, he will likely respond frequently. In the beginning, there is more excitement in talking to each other, and he is interested in getting to know you. However, if he has decided he’s not interested in getting serious with you or connecting with you on a deeper level, you may notice that he isn’t responding as fast as he once did. This could be a sign that he’s just playing you.

2. You haven’t met his friends.

If you’re spending time with him and getting to know him, it would be normal for you to eventually meet them as well. He should want you to get to know them too and bring you to group activities or have them over at the same time you’re there as a casual occurrence, so if he’s not doing that, then he may be playing you.

3. He hasn’t taken you to his home.

It would be odd to be seeing someone and for them to never invite you to their house. Perhaps he has a different living situation and can’t have you over a lot, but if you’ve been hanging out, you may be expecting him to have you over at least to show you where he lives. If he’s being avoidant of this, he’s definitely playing you because he has no intention of letting you get to know a more personal part of his life, such as where he lives.

4. He deletes text messages.

Deleting text messages is a sneaky thing to do, and he shouldn’t have to be sneaky. This is a sign that he’s playing you and that there may be someone else he’s texting too. He could be deleting whole conversations, or perhaps he’s only deleting the incriminating texts he’s exchanged so that you don’t notice anything weird. Whichever it may be, be alert, and make sure to look out for other signs to know for sure if he’s playing you.

5. He goes out with other people.

It’s normal to go on dates with a few different people when you’re not seriously dating anyone, but if you’ve started to go on more frequent dates with a guy, it wouldn’t be odd for you to think that there is something more between the two of you. If this is the case, or if you’ve talked about how you’re dating each other, and he’s going out with other people too, he’s just playing you.

6. He knows more about you than you do about him.

This applies the other way around as well. It shouldn’t be one of you opening up more than the other, you should be getting to know each other equally and sharing an equal amount of more personal details as well. If you’re doing all the talking and he’s not opening up about himself, he may not be willing to let his guard down because he’s not taking you seriously, and he’s just playing you.

On the other hand, if he’s talking so much about himself that he doesn’t let you share about yourself too, he might not be interested in getting to know you because he doesn’t plan to keep you around for long.

7. He doesn’t tell anyone about you.

You shouldn’t be anyone’s secret, and if you are, that’s a major red flag that you could be getting played. If he does this, it’s probably because he doesn’t want anyone finding out that could jeopardize what he has going on with other girls or risk them finding out that he’s seeing several girls at once.

8. He doesn’t make plans in advance with you.

If he’s cautious about how far in advance you make plans with each other, there’s a good chance that he’s playing you. If he’s really into you and serious about having something with you, he would be looking forward to making plans with you and knowing when he’ll see you again.

9. He never brings up a future together.

If he really likes you and is serious about you, expect him to think about a future with you. He makes subtle comments letting you know that he’s thought about it or jokes about it so as not to seem like it’s too much too soon. If you don’t notice this, this may be a sign that he doesn’t take you seriously and he’s just playing you.

10. He doesn’t make time for you.

If he doesn’t make time for you specifically, he doesn’t care to prioritize you. Let’s say he has plans with his friends all week long, but you were hoping to see him. If he was really interested in you, he wouldn’t mind cutting one of his other activities short or postponing them so he could get a chance to see you too.

However, if he’s playing with you, he won’t mind if a longer period of time passes before he sees you again, as long as it doesn’t interfere with plans he already has.

11. He avoids going to certain places with you.

Being avoidant of certain places can only mean one thing: he’s afraid he’ll bump into one of the other girls he’s playing there, and he doesn’t want to risk them seeing him with you or you having to meet them. This is a clear sign he’s playing you, and you may even notice that he only wants to go to certain places on certain days or at certain times.

12. He won’t take the next step after a while.

If you’ve already gone out lots of times with each other and you talk frequently, but he hasn’t made it official yet, it is very likely that he has no intention of doing that anytime soon, and he’s just playing you.

13. He gets weird if he runs into someone he knows.

If you notice this happening, he doesn’t want people to know about you. The fewer people know about you and the other girls he’s playing, the fewer people there are that can ruin it for him. If someone sees him with you one day and with another girl another day, they may start asking questions.

Also, if he runs into someone he knows when he’s with you, he has to make a choice about how he introduces you. He surely won’t want to call you his girlfriend if he’s dating you, but he also knows calling you his friend might upset you.

14. He avoids PDA.

He’s avoiding any and all public displays of affection with you to make sure no one sees that there’s something going on with you. He won’t hold your hand, put his arm around you, give you any hugs, or kisses unless you’re in a private and discreet place. He’s totally playing you if you notice that about him.

15. He never puts you first.

Whether hanging out with his friends or doing something with you, he always chooses to see his friends before going out with you. No matter how tempting it may be to see you instead of them, he always puts anything else he has going on before you.

How to Stop a Player

Stopping a player.
Stopping a player.

So now that you’ve identified some of the most popular signs that he’s just playing with you, you’re probably asking yourself how to stop this from happening. Read more below to find out.

Confront him.

The best way to stop a player is to confront him about it. Point out exactly what he is doing and tell him that you are aware that he’s playing you. After this, if you still want to give him a chance, he’ll be more serious about you or leave you alone.

Don’t let him get away with it.

If you notice that he’s avoiding certain things to get away with his player act, don’t budge and insist on going to the place he’s avoiding, for example. That way, he’ll have no choice but to be seen with you, ruining what he thought he had going.

Play it cool.

If you’ve found out that he’s just playing you, the best thing you can do is to call it quits. Play it cool, don’t act bothered, and just stop seeing him. He’s not worth your time or energy.


Now that you know what signs to look out for to know if he is playing you or not, nothing can get past you. Remember that sometimes it may seem like he’s showing signs of being a player, but really there might be something else going on.

He could just be afraid of commitment or afraid that you’re getting serious too quickly, so he appears to be avoidant with some things, which could easily be confused with him playing you. So make sure to fully analyze the situation before jumping to conclusions.

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