The first step in any relationship is talking, having a good conversation, and keeping it interesting. Therefore knowing how to keep her interested in talking with you is key. By keeping her interested in talking with you, you will be able to build around that.
The Importance of Keeping Her Interested
The most important aspect of your relationship with a girl is keeping her interested in you. Without interest, there is nothing.
Things seem more interesting when you first meet someone because they are new. The more you get to know someone, and the more time you spend together, she might lose interest if you fall into a routine or become boring.
It’s crucial that her interest in talking with you remains. These are two main reasons why it’s important to keep her interested:
- She will want to know more. If your conversations with her are about interesting or intriguing topics, she will be interested in knowing more. Make sure you cover good topics throughout the conversation, preferably ones that allow both of you to elaborate and share the most you can. Avoid dull or uncomfortable topics because she will quickly lose interest if you focus on those.
- You’ll have a second conversation. If the girl you are talking to is interested in you, there will be a second conversation. If you’re speaking in person, this could mean a second date is a very strong possibility. If you’re having a conversation over text message, the conversation may become a continuous one.
How to Keep Her Interested in the Conversation
Keep the following tips in mind when trying to keep her interested in the conversation you are having.
Don’t tell her all of your secrets.
You don’t want to reveal too much too quickly. Avoid telling her everything at once because if not, there won’t be as much to talk about later on. You also want to make sure you allow her to talk and comment on what you are sharing.
Try to find balance in the amount of things you share with her to avoid coming off as an intense person. You don’t want to overshare if you are just getting to know someone. Some things take more time to share, so don’t get too carried away even if you already feel very comfortable around this person or even if they are making you feel heard.
Avoid sounding like you’re bragging.
Don’t go on and on about how much you have grown recently, that will be something that she will be able to notice on her own. You can mention it subtly if it seems appropriate and related to what you are talking about but don’t over-talk about it because it will make you sound arrogant.
When you talk too much about yourself and your personal growth, you might annoy people. Of course, the person you are talking to wants to hear about your achievements, but pace yourself. Focusing too much on this topic tends to turn a pleasant conversation into unpleasant.
Stop talking about yourself.
This tip goes hand in hand with the previous one. Aside from oversharing about your personal achievements, it is also unpleasant when all you talk about is yourself. The ideal conversation will be balanced between the two of you.
At times you will share about yourself, but you should also invite her to share about herself, ask her questions about her to get to know her more and make sure you share the conversation equally.
Do your best to give her your undivided attention when she is sharing about herself, so she feels important and heard, maintaining an interest in talking with you.
Don’t be negative.
We all go through difficult things, and we all have bad days. However, when you’re talking to someone who you hope stays interested in talking to you as well, you need to put any negativity aside. This isn’t the right time to share your worries or complain about something.
Especially avoid complaining about things during the conversation. No one likes to listen to complaints, and they could even make her uncomfortable because she likely won’t know what to say, and she may feel frustrated if she is unable to help or be encouraging. Do your best to bring all positivity and good vibes to the conversations.
Ask her questions.
Make her feel that you care about what she has to say and what is going on with her. Asking her questions will make her feel like you are really interested in knowing more about her, and when she feels that, the interest will be reciprocated. Make sure the questions you ask her are of value and not only simpler questions. This will make her feel like she has an important role in the conversation you are having.
Don’t fear silence.
Sometimes there are more quiet moments throughout a conversation, and that’s okay. If you encounter silence and you feel it may be uncomfortable, just ask an open-ended question you think will be easy for her to elaborate on when answering. Depending on where you are having the conversation, you could ask the question related to what you are doing, for example.
Refer back to past conversations.
If you have had a few conversations with her, acknowledge things she might have mentioned in past conversations. For example, you could ask how someone she mentioned is doing or ask how something she had planned went. This will show her that you care about what she mentioned and that you were listening and paying attention to what she had to say.
Avoid short answers.
Short answers can be interpreted incorrectly, even if you mean well. A more thought-out, slightly longer answer will always be better. This is because short answers can feel rushed or lack interest. Remember that if you want her to be interested in having a conversation with you, you need to show interest in having a conversation with her as well.
Acknowledge her interests.
If you’ve just met, you might not know a lot about her, but by being observant, you could pick on some things just by looking at her or analyzing where you are at. Use that to acknowledge possible interests she might have. Everyone likes talking about things they like, so this will be an easy way to get her to talk a little more and open about things she enjoys, later allowing you to do the same.
How Long Should the Conversations Last?
Although you might feel like talking to her forever would be amazing, you don’t want to overdo it. The ideal conversation should be between 5 and 15 minutes when you first talk. This allows you to cover a few topics but still keep it short and sweet, so she is intrigued and wants to have another conversation.
If you talk longer than this, she might feel like you’re talking too much, and if you talk for less, she might feel like it’s not a quality conversation and that a second one isn’t needed. Avoid boring her because there might not be a second chance at a conversation if you do.
How to Know if She Likes Talking to You
These are the three most important signs to look out for to know if she likes talking to you.
She tells you.
At the end of the conversation, she might tell you that she really enjoyed sharing a conversation with you. If she’s being communicative about liking the conversation, you are heading in the right direction.
She tries to talk to you more often.
If you start receiving more text messages from her, you are keeping her interested in talking to you. Perhaps she even wants to talk on the phone, another sign that you’re doing a great job with the conversations you are sharing together.
If she wants to talk longer or gets a little disappointed when it’s time to end the conversation, this is also a good sign that she enjoys talking to you because she doesn’t want the conversation to end.
She asks questions during the conversation.
If she asks questions, that means she’s interested. A girl asking questions about you or things related to you means she wants to know more about you and what’s going on in your life. She might even be doing this to show that she is interested in talking to you, so you talk to her more.
In a nutshell
There’s a good chance that the girl you are talking to will want to pursue more conversations with you, especially if you are following the tips mentioned above. Remember not to overshare because too much information, too fast, can be overwhelming.
You want to make sure all of your conversations are enjoyable, so she keeps wanting to talk to you. A great indicator that she is interested in having conversations with you is when she initiates the conversation. That will be the most obvious way to know that she really does want to talk to you because she went out of her way to start speaking.