How to Know if She Is the One

Sam Lynn

By Sam Lynn

Est. Reading Time: 15 Mins

How to Know if She Is the One

Being in a relationship or marriage with the wrong person can be traumatizing. Research has proven that a failed relationship can impact our mental and physical health. That’s why questions like “how do I know she’s the one?” are a top-rated search on Google.

Moreover, studies have shown that 50% of divorced and separated men think they’re in the situation because they chose the wrong partner. Hence, marriage therapists devised the means to know if the woman you’re dating is the one for you.

So, we’ve gathered sufficient tips from relationship experts to prevent you from adding to the divorce statistics or suffering the effect of a failed union. Wondering what these points are?

See effective ways to know if she’s the one below:

1. She Puts You First.

Divorce attorney, James Bush, advises young people to marry only a partner who prioritizes them since it’s a huge reason why spouses are filing for divorce.

“By prioritizing you, it doesn’t necessarily mean your needs will always come before hers. It simply means she isn’t one to leave you to find solutions to your problem. It means she’ll forfeit a girl’s night just to come to pick you up at the airport, or happily share her finances with you so that you don’t miss out on a valuable course,” says James.

If a girl demonstrates this sign to you more than a few times, it means she’ll help you achieve a happy union.

2. She Doesn’t Make it a Habit to Breakup With You.

“Too many relationships now experience frequent breakup and reconciliation. This pattern of behavior is unhealthy and could be an early sign of separation or divorce if you make it to the alter,” says marriage counselor Dave Ramsey.

Therefore, it’s important to plan the future with someone who’d rather sit down to talk about the problem instead of running away from it.

If your woman falls into this class of people, then you’re lucky to have found the one.

3. She Understands You.

“Understanding is a vital attribute of a long-lasting and healthy relationship. Hence, the one for you isn’t merely the one who’ll reach the ends of the earth for you but who gets you completely,” says Mayor Brown, an American marriage counselor.

If she understands you, it means she’d know you better than anyone else, and she’ll be the last person to judge your actions and decisions while still encouraging you to learn from your missteps.

“No doubt, understanding is a key sign she’ll make a good partner because it takes a lot to comprehend the emotions and feelings of another individual,” adds Mayor.

4. She Doesn’t Pressurize You.

A woman who is ready to spend her life with you knows not to add to the pressures of your life.

“I decided to marry my wife because she’s never one to make me feel less for not achieving a particular thing at any point in time. It turns out it was the best decision ever,” says 52-years-old Bryan Matt married for 20 years.

There’s a thin line between stimulating your growth and pressurizing you into evolving into what you’re not ready for yet. A woman who is patient with you will not cost you your peace of mind.

“Especially in these social media era where everyone wants to appear to be winning, the right woman won’t try so hard to fast track your growth since she understands the importance of process,” says Joanne Rivers, a Los Angeles relationship expert.

5. She Accords You Due Respect.

“One of the ways a woman shows how much she loves her man is by the respect she accords him,” says relationship educator Meagan Lowe.

This behavior would usually show in the way she addresses you, seeks, and treats your opinion. So if you can confidently attest to your woman treating you like a box of treasure, then she’s the one for you.

6. She Doesn’t Believe Any Negative Thing Said About You.

A beautiful relationship can arouse negative emotions and invasion from people around you, whether you are the Duke and Duchess of Sussex or not. Thus, it’s important to have someone who doesn’t listen to side talk or give in to the negative opinions about you if your relationship must survive the test of time in the long run.

“Look back to see the number of times she has turned a deaf ear to any negative viewpoints about you. How well has she been able to handle rumors and discouraging attacks thrown at your relationship?” says Good Robert, a relationship expert.

7. She Forgives You.

No matter how head over heels in love you are with your woman, it doesn’t change that you are an imperfect being bound to offend her sometimes. This reality, therefore, places the burden of forgiveness on her.

If you can recall moments, she’s forgiven you, rather than take a walk like the other girls, best believe she loves you enough to fight for your relationship.

8. She Identifies with Your Loved Ones.

A good girl who adores you would speak well of your family and friends. So if she doesn’t have nice things to say about them, it could be that she doesn’t want them around you.

Besides, no matter how negative your loved ones maybe, if she’s the one for you, she’ll try to see the good in them before writing them off.

An advantage of having a girl who identifies with your loved ones is that she understands the value of family. Hence, she’ll be able to start and sustain a loving one with you.

9. You’re Contented With Her.

When you look at her, do you feel like there’s nothing you’d like to change about her? This feeling is a great pointer to how compatible you are as a couple.

“Let’s face it, lack of contentment is a strong reason many men separate from their partners, therefore, before taking your vows, it’s important to find your woman satisfying,” says Lawn Tom, author of She is the One for You.

10. You Look Forward to Putting a Ring on Her Finger.

How excited are you to put a ring on it? She was certainly made for you if you sincerely look forward to shopping for an engagement ring for her. 

Moreover, if you aren’t skeptical about the decision to spend the rest of your life with her, then you can look forward to a happy ending.

11. You Don’t Want To Hurt Her.

She's the one if you're constantly considering her feelings.
She’s the one if you’re constantly considering her feelings.

If you cannot stand the thought of hurting your woman, say, through infidelity, disappointment, or abuse, then you can start planning a wedding.

Also, if the thought of other women makes you cringe, that could only mean you have come to love her as much as you love yourself.

12. You Make Sacrifices For Each Other.

“Mutual love is the sweetest kind of romance couples can ever relish. A love like this is evident when two people who are in a relationship make sacrifices for each other or learn to compromise to make the other person happy,” says New Jersey relationship therapist, Jones Harrison.

A woman who sees you as her soulmate would easily let go to make you happy. Feeling the same thing is also a sign that a man has finally found the one he can commit himself to for a lifetime.

13. She Regards Your Relationship.

“A girlfriend who can respect the boundaries of your relationship is always a take home to mama. Such a girl wouldn’t break up your marriage because she found another man to be sexier, richer, smarter, or funnier,” says Dr. Elon Robinson, a clinical therapist.

You should spend forever with a lady who thinks you’re enough, who doesn’t disrespect your relationship whether by cheating on you, flaunting other guys before you, or flirting with other people.

This behavior is an indication that she can make your marriage last.

14. You Don’t Have To Impress Her.

The woman for you would ensure you’re comfortable enough to be yourself when you are with her. If she gives you the impression that you don’t need to fake it or go to extreme lengths to prove your love for her, then she’s for a lifetime.

15. You Have Similar Goals and Beliefs.

It’s not enough to want to fulfill a dream vacation together or support the same soccer team or political parties, you must desire similar expectations from life, especially in the type of family you’d like to raise and the height you’ll love to reach in life.

If she comfortably fits well into your dreams, aspirations and holds the same value as you, then there is a 99% chance that she’s the one.

So how many passes do you think your lady has when you put all of these into careful consideration? Moreover, don’t think she’s the one for you just because you’ve been in a relationship with her for the longest time. Assess how happy you’ve been with her, and make a decision.

The rule is not to allow your emotions to trick you when finding your one and only. Also, keep in mind that these qualities shouldn’t be lopsided if your relationship must last.

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