Things to Talk About on a First Date
Est Reading Time: 21 Mins
The first date is an exciting and memorable moment because it's the perfect opportunity to make a good impression. You only have one shot on your first date, making it a crucial step for anyone who wishes to enter into a relationship. For some, it is a "make or break" situation that can spell one's chances with this person. Therefore, it's important to make it unique and unforgettable – in a good way.
The day of the first date is equally thrilling for both parties. If you are in this situation, you're probably thinking about your outfit, perfume, shoes, and hairstyle. Perhaps you're even practicing in the mirror how to smile and laugh, make flattering gestures, and ways to move around while you're with your date. These factors are essentially vital.
However, you must not forget the most important aspects that make up a perfect and memorable first date. These are your personality, intellect, and sense of humor, which are the fundamentals of your character. How are you going to work on these things? It all starts with having good topics for your conversation and being aware of what you can and cannot discuss during your first date.
Given this seemingly nerve-wracking and nail-biting situation you're about to break into, how are you supposed to carry a conversation? What are the things to talk about on a first date? Are there certain topics that can spark fireworks and pave the way to a wonderful time together?
Let's explore some of the most tried-and-tested topics and ideas that can make this milestone truly monumental for you and your date. If you're lucky, your first date might turn out to be far more special than you can ever imagine.
Talk About: People You Love
Talking about the people that matter most to you can set the foundation for your conversation. It also reveals a lot about yourself and the kind of person you are. For example, you may talk about your family, best friend, mentor, life coach, or boss – anyone who plays a significant role in your life.
Don't hesitate to reveal your sensitivity as a person or your vulnerabilities. Talking about the most important people in your life is like sharing a personal part of you. It is worth noting that you have to pay close attention to how your date responds. Your date might have traumatic or painful experiences about his/her parents or family members.
So if you're noticing some discomfort, it's perfectly fine to shift the topic into something else. Remember that how you respond to your date's reactions and body language can make a huge difference in your first date's outcome.
Talk About: Leisure and Recreation
Leisure and recreation are probably the safest and most convenient topics you can talk about on your first date. We can all agree that people tend to come alive when they talk about the things they like to do. Moreover, talking about the things you do during your spare time says a lot about your personality.
Make it a point to acknowledge your date by letting him/her share the stage with you. Don't get too preoccupied with yourself, no matter how much you love talking about your activities and interests. Ask your date and let them share what they love to do. Sharing some snippets about each other's life is a good way to get to know more about each other.
For example, if your date loves to run, hike, and play outdoor sports, you can assume that they have an active lifestyle and are quite competitive. If they love reading books, doing art crafts, baking, and cooking, they are perhaps more of the reserved type and introvert.
Talking about what you do for leisure and recreation will enable you to understand each other's passion and inclination.
Talk About: Career and Studies
Your career and/or studies are both generic yet safe topics you can discuss on your first date. You may talk about the field or industry in which your profession falls under, the company you work for, your business, or your field of studies.
How far this topic would go depends entirely on how your date responds. If they show signs of interest, you can mention some details about your career and then proceed to ask your date. Try to keep things fun and interesting because this topic can get dull and boring if you dwell too much on the technicalities.
A little animation and free-spirited vibe can sometimes add humor to a rather ordinary topic to make it livelier and interesting.
Talk About: Food and Travel
It is rare to find people who are uninterested in food and travel. Often, many ideas can emerge from topics that concern food, international cuisine, exotic places, and travel. In this modern age and time wherein people are becoming more fascinated with different places, food, and culture, it is easy to find common ground on these topics.
You may ask your date about the places that she wishes to see someday and the cuisines she would love to try. Of course, you may also contribute to the topic, but make sure to maintain a healthy and fair exchange of ideas.
Sometimes, when we get too excited about a certain topic, we tend to go on and on without even realizing it. So try to be mindful about your date at all times. Nurture the interaction by exchanging ideas with each other and by sharing your travel experiences and goals.
Take turns talking about the things that you want to try out someday, and the chances are that you'll find common ground where you can plan things together.
Talk About: Funny Jokes and Stories
How good are you at showcasing your sense of humor? Do you have funny stories and witty jokes to tell? If you're good at these things, then perhaps you can benefit from some hilarity during your first date.
This is suitable if you naturally have a funny personality and a strong charisma to draw people towards you. Of course, not everyone is gifted with a candid and witty personality. So this depends on the kind of person you are. If you consider yourself funny and a good storyteller, then carry on with this act by all means.
However, if you consider yourself a serious, quiet, or mysterious type, then perhaps this is not a good place to start. Telling funny jokes and stories is all about having the right personality and making that perfect timing. Still, if you believe that you have what it takes to win your date's heart through comical acts and funny jokes, then your first date might just turn out to be the first of many.
Talk About: Strengths and Weaknesses
Even if you're on your first date and trying to make a good impression, it doesn't hurt to admit that you're not a superman or a superwoman. So feel free to talk about each other's strengths and weaknesses. This is fun and engaging because you can practically talk about your fears and the things you're not good at.
To redeem yourself after your revelation, you may discuss your strongest points and the things you're good at. The same thing goes for your date.
You may have a casual conversation about this topic or play a candid game using this concept. For example; name two strengths and a weakness when it comes to work, two strengths and a weakness in your social life, or two strengths and a weakness when it comes to academics.
You may explore other ideas such as; your respective strengths and weaknesses regarding love, friendship, family, travel, food, and anything else under the sun. The more creative you are, the more ideas you can think of to further expand the topic.
Talk About: Bucket List
We all have our own bucket list or "list of things to do" (because YOLO – you only live once). Maybe it is not exactly a list per se that's on black and white. It could be something that's on your mind or in your heart that you're planning to do if you'll ever have the chance.
You may also ask your date if they have something in mind that they want to do in their lifetime. These things could be anything like wanting to try out bungee jumping in Macau Tower, skydiving in The Palms Dubai, or riding the zip line in Costa Rica.
Another way to keep the conversation going during your first date is by creating your make-believe bucket list. You can take turns mentioning the things that you want to try in this lifetime. Anything is acceptable, from wanting to sing in a public place to kissing a stranger, all the way to traveling alone to an exotic place.
Talking about things outside your daily routine and way beyond your comfort zone, you nevertheless want to try a harmless way to explore each other's thoughts.
Talk About: Out-of-this-World or Hypothetical Questions
Depending on how comfortable you are with your date, you may take turns asking each other hypothetical questions. This is a fun yet simple way to get to know more about each other while keeping the conversation going. Hypothetical questions are presumptive and unreal, which makes them fun to explore.
They are also open-ended questions that would encourage you and your date to talk and give elaborate answers to each question. Here are some examples of hypothetical questions for your first date;
- If you're going to spend a year on a secluded island with no signal, electricity, and internet, but you may bring one companion and three of your essentials, who and what would you choose to bring?
- If you'll win a million dollars tomorrow, what would you do?
- If your task is to spend a million dollars within one day, how are you going to spend it?
- You are riding a train that can take you to any place that you wish to visit, where would you choose to go, and what are you going to do there?
- Assuming that you can be invisible for one day, what would you do?
Hypothetical and out-of-this-world questions can give you and your date a good laugh. It may also give you a chance to think about certain things that you've never thought about before. More importantly, it may help you arrive at certain realizations about yourself and your perspective about life, among other things.
Talk About: Relationship and Dating Goals
What could be a more suitable topic on a first date than your reasons and goals for dating? While it may already seem very obvious that you're taking a chance and trying out your luck in the romance department, it doesn't hurt to be honest about your intentions.
For example, you may open up that the reason why you're dating is that you've been single for quite some time, and it would be interesting to finally meet new people and make new friends.
Being honest about your relationship and dating goals can set things straight between you and your date. It is one way of figuring out if you have a connection or if your goals are somehow aligned with each other. Remember that being honest is different from being pushy and desperate for love.
It actually means that you are not going out on a date just to play or fool around, but rather because you have serious intentions.
On a Final Note
Keep in mind that a stimulating and interactive conversation is crucial for the first date. Perhaps you were not able to wear your best shirt or check on your makeup before leaving the house. However, these minor details should not matter at all if your date would only remember how enjoyable your conversation was.
If you're able to think of great topics, wonderful ideas, and things to talk about on a first date, that is practically everything that matters. It can create an impression that will most likely end up into something more meaningful and long-lasting.
So stop worrying about not having perfect makeup or not wearing expensive perfume. If your date finds you interesting and appreciates your personality far more than anything else, you have achieved your goal.
This is more memorable and noteworthy than your expensive watch and flashy earrings. As a final note, be prudent and fun on your first date, and consider it as one of the most important conversations of your life.
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